Friday, July 11, 2008

Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.

Alyssa had to learn just how hard it can be to apologize. I told her that "Sorry" seems like such a simple word, but when it has to come out of your mouth, when you truly mean it... it can be the hardest word you'll ever say.

We had a rough morning getting ready the other day. She was really tired from the night before and being quite a pain to try to get ready. After about 10 minutes of fighting with her, I told her that she was going to go to bed at 7:30 instead of 8:00. This just made her even more angry! So as I struggle to get her dressed, her hair and teeth brushed... she continued to make sure she made it as difficult as possible. As I walked out of her bedroom door, I tell her she has 3 seconds to get her shoes on and get ready to go. Then she says the three words I hope to never hear from her mouth again... "I HATE YOU!" Now, anyone knows that I do not tolerate bad language in my home and two of the worst words you can say are "hate" and "stupid" (all thanks to my loving mother!). I told her she was going to go to bed as soon as we got home that night. We drove all the way to daycare without saying a word. I kept thinking to myself that if she apologizes for what she said, then she would be off the hook. I know that we all say things out of anger that we might not mean. So later that night Dan and I sat down and had a nice long talk with her. It was not an easy discussion for her to handle. I could tell that she was upset with herself for saying that... but she just didn't have it in her to say I'm sorry. As I tucked her into bed, she held me tighter then she ever has and cried so hard while saying "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOMMY" I just held her and asked her why she was upset. Once she settled down enough, she told me that she was scared. I asked her what she is scared of... she said "to say I'm sorry..." I told her that I know that it's not an easy word to say and the fact that it's so hard for you to say just shows that you actually mean it. I asked her why it was so easy for her to say I hate you, but it's so hard to say I'm sorry. I explained the importance of the word and it's meaning. I told her that I had to go the rest of the day with my feelings hurt... all because she couldn't apologize. I really hope that she learned a lesson from all of this. I hope to never hear those words again and I hope she learned how hard it is to apologize for your actions. I laid in bed with her and held her until she settled down enough to sleep...

Family is a unit with people who may have different goals, habits and desires all sharing a house together. To live in peace and harmony you must care about your family. Learning how to say I'm Sorry may be the second most important skill you will ever learn. The most important skill is learning to Forgive.

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